badonkadonk

There are two birthdays coming up in the next few months: the middle sister and the fiance. And a great gift suggestion from the baby sister. Well, she didn't exactly propose it as a gift idea, but it is so timely the implication is obvious.
"So what on earth is that," you may ask, obviously never having seen one of these beauties before. The answer, as clearly stated on Amazon.com, is that this is a Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank, retailing for US$19,999.95, and there are only two left in stock. Better grab yours now.

The applications and advantages of this baby are obvious, especially with regards to my dearest sister. A cursory glance through the 151 raving reviews posted by users shows how this could really benefit a new driver:

Considering the driving habits of the locals in my area, I decided that trading in my sedan was probably a good idea, in fact, something that would improve my health more than eating broccoli and drinking green tea. For one thing, there is little armor on my riceburner, and one local past-time here is for SUV drivers to trundle aimlessly through stop signs while clamping their cellphones tightly to their ears, probably to avoid hearing my horn blaring and some choice swears, too. One woman in a silver SUV seems to have a fatwa against me or else a death-wish--she's run the stop sign right by my house twice while I was in the intersection and once it was on a very rainy day and she had her kids in the car. Rather than call child protective services or the police, I decided to drive more defensively. Now I cross intersections with confidence, knowing SUV's, women ignoring the road while yapping into their cell phones, possums and even Hummer limousines are hapless against the front prow of my Badonkadonk. The cow catcher design is not only aerodynamic, it is quite effective at lifting stray cattle right out of the way.

Now the only question is, how much would the COE cost?