Wedding Tips

It's wedding season. When you have one wedding(or more) each week for the month, you know it's definitely wedding season. So here are some of the most useful cost-saving tips, not for the guests (too bad) but for the wedding couple.

Charge the Banquet to a Good Credit Card
If your hotel/restaurant allows, it is always better to charge to a card than pay in cash. This allows you to get the points, and it means you don't have to rush to count the gifts to pay the bills. Obviously this will exceed your credit limit, so you can either ask the bank for a temporary increase, or pre-pay the cost of dinner so you don't exceed the limit, or you can do a combination of both.
But if you are going to all this effort, you should definitely use a good card to maximise the points on tens of thousands of dollars. The obvious choice would seem to be a rebate card like Citibank's Dividend Card, which gives you 2% cash back on spending on F&B. Unfortunately a check with the bank revealed that they do not consider hotel weddings to be F&B, so they would only give the 0.5% general rebate. Since it was just a week before my wedding, I was limited to the cards I have on hand, and eventually chose the DBS Amex Black card which gives double points. For those with the luxury of time, it is worthwhile to explore the whole gamut of options, I suspect that the real American Express charge card (which charges an annual fee of $200+) may actually give the best deal on rewards.

Minimising Losses on No-Shows
Every couple's nightmare is to see a room of half-empty tables, with each seat costing more than $100 per head. Some people have the nasty habit of telling you the day before, the day of, or not at all, that they cannot make it. It is ridiculous to rearrange tables at this point, so what can you do about it?
Firstly, check if your venue allows you to seat more than 10 per table. Planning an extra person or two per table is useful, since last-minute withdrawals are inevitable. (As a courtesy to guests, it is preferable that they actual serve extra portions too, rather than just serving smaller portions.) Even better, some hotels like Shangri-La allow you to take portions from a table of 9 and give it to a table of 11. All this helps create substantial savings.
The second way is a little more brawny than brainy. You just have to shamelessly remind your guests that you are getting married about a week beforehand (find some polite excuse, maybe by re-sending the details since many people misplace the cards too), so that they will also be prompted to inform you if they cannot make it. It is amazing how many people forget about weddings, especially wedding lunches.

Well after getting marries and helping and several weddings over the past year, these are the best tips that I hope will be useful for other wedding planners.

so how's the wedding?

For anyone who's been wondering why I haven't been writing over the last month or so, there are two main reasons. The first is that I have been so busy with wedding and housing preparations. The second is that I have nothing to write about because everything I do is either work-related (taboo!), wedding-related or housing-related. I haven't even read the news in ages, so I can't make any sarcastic comments.

Anyway, since I have nothing else to write about, and since the most FAQ I always encounter is "so how's the wedding preparations?" I shall attempt to summarise some of the stuff we have accomplished, as a quick reference for all my friend just a few steps behind me, of which there are surprisingly quite a number. Many people comment that we are preparing way in advance, but that is unfortunately because we won't be seeing each other much over the next two months as we take turns to exit the country. So let's begin ...

Finally, we are about to close the chapter on our HDB flat. Ever since we first found our HDB flat in early May, we have hit numerous obstacles that have delayed the entire acquisition process. After making some adjustments to our income status, we finally resubmitted our paperwork to process the HLE (step 1) in July, and we'll be finishing the transaction next week. We managed to complete process that is supposed to take about 14-16 weeks in about nine. Credit to this really goes to all the helpful agents that we have been chasing mercilessly (albeit very politely). And my word of advice to anyone thinking of doing the same is to be nice to them, and while they will not make any promises to speed things up they never failed to deliver things ahead of schedule. Of course, it probably helped that the stock market crashed in August, because apparently lots of transactions were cancelled when the buyers became victims of the credit crunch.

After talking to several contractors, we shortlisted two and are now awaiting their quotations after they surveyed the flat. With some luck, our very minimal renovations should be done by the end of next month.

Now that the flat is finally (almost) ours, we also started shopping for the household appliances in earnest (having already bought the bed and most of the furniture before GST was raised). Some good places we have frequented are Mayer for kitchen appliances. The washing machine and refrigerator are more of commodity items, the big stores like Courts, Best Denki or Harvey Norman offer a good selection for comparison, but we'll be getting ours from Tai Sin Radio & Electrical Service. The fiancee has demonstrated an keen knack for sniffing out the best prices.

So we've practically been working on everything and the kitchen sink. We picked up the latter today at Jalan Besah from Poh Joo Hardware Engineering today. While the Balestier area (Upp Thomson end) had a much wider selection of shops selling sinks, faucets and toilet bowls, we found Poh Joo's range pretty good and prices more competitive. Those areas are even better for people looking for lighting fixtures, but thankfully we don't have to worry about any of that for now.

We've also just taken collection of the wedding cards over the weekend, even before we've worked out the invitation list. Great prices and service on printing were offered by Welon, while our beautiful chruch service cards were gotten from Tecman.

In between all the chores for setting up home and the big day, we also try not to neglect laying the foundations for future family life. Before You Say "I Do" is a devotional book we have been reading weekly, and it often prompts us with thought-provoking questions that help to address problem areas in the relationship. Just today, we read 1 Corinthians 13, and we came across a verse that everyone poor kid who has ever been through Sunday school must have been forced to memorise at some point or other.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.

How familiar this verse, that it borders on the cliched. But when I really truly contemplated it today, when I looked back at my recent actions towards her, the depth of its meaning and the impossibility of living up to true love just floored me. In such simple words, it has captured the essence of relationship. If we were able to love like this, there would be no such thing as failed marriages or divorce. And how much harder is it to give such love to others less dear.

And last but not least, we have also completed our wedding photo shoot! The dreary weather over the past few weeks was cause for great anxiety, and we were really praying fervently for fine weather. Thanks to all who were praying as well. We were rudely awakened on the morn by heavy rain, but this soon transitioned into probably the bluest and brightest day that Singapore had seen in a while. And while the actual photos won't be out anytime soon due to our conflicting travelling schedules, here is a little sampler of one of our props.

So if you were asking about the wedding preparations, I hope this answers your questions!

wedding bells

It's that time of the night when everything seems just a little bit funnier even though my eyes ache. Yet I'm driven on by the cravings for sugared drinks and an overactive brain that refuses to rest, even though my body is physically shutting down. It's almost 1 am. I'm old, I know.

Lately the fiance is busying herself with wedding packages, wedding gowns and wedding photography. Always the practical one, my job is to continue the unromantic task of finding a roof over our heads. But lately I've started giving some thought to wedding videos, and a recent post by syntaxfree jolted me to the sudden realisation that we have a potential problem on our hands. What will the wedding music be like?

The problem, of course, is that we are both quite passionate about music. But we are passionate about rather different music. I, for one, cannot imagine a wedding to bubblegummy pop tunes like Daniel Beddingfield or James Blunt that seem to be the rage these days. I suppose they have lyrics that superficially fit the occasion, but somehow I would just get goosebumps. Maybe they are too overplayed, or just too fake.

I could imagine a rock theme, with Always by Bon Jovi or Cloud Number Nine by Bryan Adams. Or perhaps a country theme with Little Moments by Brad Paisley or My Front Porch Looking In by Lone Star. Or I could just take the entire X&Y album from Coldplay. Or some haunting ballads like Eternity, No Regrets or She's The One from Robbie Williams. Or chillout music like Basia's Angels Blush and Tori Amos' A Sorta Fairytale. But somehow I don't think she'd agree to any of the above.

She'd probably want to do something in grand baroque style, and certainly find a prominent place for Pachelbel's Canon in D. Lots of instrumentals and piano music. And she's definitely big on the soppy love ballads. But as long as she doesn't play her new favourite song, Listen by Beyonce, I guess I could get by.

Trawling through my 15GB music collection, I realise one disturbing fact. I like sad music; and sad music doesn't really go with weddings. A psychology major once pointed that out to me in college. She said hanging out in my room with my music was making her depressed. Maybe I shouldn't be picking the soundtrack.

But there's one song I would definitely want in, to which I think there would be no objection. Jason Mraz's Bella Luna. I just can't figure out where to use it.

the ring 2

Just because the girlfriend accepted the proposal with a calamari, I wasn't going to shortchange her on the real deal. So in the midst of the early frenzy to find a hotel before all the places got booked up, there was a parallel and equally urgent effort to find a bling befitting of a lovely wife-to-be.

So first we combed the jewellers at Takashimaya - Larry's, Tiffanys and Charlotte Atelier. But they didn't have any pretty rings. Then we tried the heartland - Lee Hwa, Soo Kee and Goldheart. These, too, were disappointing in design and exhorbitant in price. (Eventually, someone has to pay for all those Destinee ads you know.) And finally, we made our way to the Delfi Orchard area - Fairy's Inc, Diamond Warehouse and Canary Diamonds. And there we struck gold!

It's kind of funny how despite all our divergent opinions (not that mine really counted) on the earlier rings we saw, we had an instant agreement when we found the right one. Both the setting and the rock struck a resonant chord with us, and suddenly we knew we were looking at the one.

The ring is actually bigger than it looks, but it's dwarfed by the meaty fingers. (Ok ok *ouch* I'm kidding! *ouch* I'm kidding!)

For prospective propositions, here are some of the pros and cons of proposing by proxy. (Say that fast and you have a great tongue twister.) Some of them I only realised later.

Pros
1) Taste - Guys generally have different taste, it's much safer to let the girl pick a ring she likes
2) Time - If you spend most of your free time with her, where are you going to find time to shop for a ring on your own? On the other hand, it's a great activity to fill empty pockets of time between activities. ("What shall we do for the next hour until dinner? Let's go shop for rings!")


Cons
1) Budget - You have to tell her the budget to make this work. (I tried to keep it a surprise at first but it's very difficult to make decisions.)
2) Time - She wants to go ring shopping all the time (ok I'm just kidding!)

calamari rings

I vividly remember television scenes from childhood of dramatic wedding proposals. The poor boyfriend either goes to great lengths bordering on utter humiliation to catch the girl's attention, or he gets the biggest rock money can buy, or both. In pop culture, the sincerity of the proposition seems to rely entirely on the absurdity of the proposal. Is this really the factor that wins the girl's heart, to start a lifetime commitment?

After finally getting into a serious relationship, the proposal seems almost insignificant. Which is why I opted for a no-frills affair and proposed sincerely - and was gladly accepted without hesitation - with a calamari. It wasn't exactly a ring, until you wiped the thick batter off; but inside the piece of squid was just right to slip around her finger. And it was gratifying to know she sees the importance of the ring and rock in the same light.

Of course the diamond will come in due course. And now she can shop with me to find the perfect one. It's rather amusing to see her look of disdain when I squeal in delight at the "cute little diamonds". I don't think it's going to be cheap, either.

Several people have asked me, along with the congratulations, "are you really happy?" Of course I'm happy, but I wouldn't exactly say really happy. It seems like the natural progression to the next stage in life; and now when we look at flats or argue over baby names, it just feels a little more real.